did you get engaged???
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
