i just made my gag reflex go away.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
