That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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