ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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