Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
