John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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