IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
