When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
