she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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