READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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