that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize