Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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