Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
