Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
