you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
