why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
True college students do jello shots in the library
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
