you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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