I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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