2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize