Your dad touched me again.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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