Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
