i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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