i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
