its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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