I wanna bring you to show and tell
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
