I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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