My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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