I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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