I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
