dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
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She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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