the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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