Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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