a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
