His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
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They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
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She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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