This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
