WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
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It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
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These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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