i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
