Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
