so explain again why im purple
no
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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