There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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