She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
