On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
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Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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