shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
