I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
