This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
