That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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