Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I think I sprained my soul last night
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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