Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
