just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Let's get the cat blown out
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
