Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
