Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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