i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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