I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
