Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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