He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
