Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
