She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
