So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
