I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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