we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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