I could make wine with my vomit
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
