The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
