WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I love you. Go after that dick
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
