i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
