I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
did i walk over a car last night?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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